Through the late-evening haze, Hannah could make out the profile of her husband as he led the team of donkeys toward the desert camp. Other travelers were settled for the night, busy with the evening demands of animals, food, and the rudimentary shelter that barely protected them from the cold night air. Tempers were frayed and tiredness reduced restraint after the long day on the road. Outbursts of anger were not infrequent; toward animals and each other.
But not for Hannah. She could feel Eli’s loving embrace, his reluctance to let her go, and his intimate whisperings of how he had been longing for this moment after a long day apart. Hannah was heavy with child, and Eli insisted she wait at the camp while he completed the journey to the coast and returned. Hannah took the opportunity to rest, so pleased she was able to accompany Eli on this, his final journey. She realised how much it meant to Eli to have a companion and best friend that admired him and his work, despite her having never inhabited this sweaty, dusty landscape of men and animals.
There was another reason Hannah wanted to come along on this final journey. She wanted to camp at the same place where, deep in her heart, she knew Eli was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. This last trip represented the end of an era for Eli; the only work he had ever known, and his father before him. And now a new journey lay before them both, changes and uncertainties will be the new territory, and choices made with the newborn in mind will map their future together.
Eli had come to this decision by himself and it was one Hannah knew only he could make. He sold the business, although when Hannah found out he kept the donkeys, she wondered what, exactly the new owners had purchased.
“I couldn’t part with them” Eli told her. “They have walked beside me for years, and I cannot be sure the new owners would treat them like I have”.
Hannah agreed, thinking of Eli gathering them around him before they settled for the night and praying into the night sky. The outbursts she was hearing from neighbouring travellers contained more curses than prayers, and once again, she saw the innate wisdom and enormous heart of this weary man.
Within each experience lies the kernel of the next. Seeds that, given time and seasons, will sprout, mature, and bring fruit. Hannah pondered these thoughts while she watched her husband coax the small fire to toast the broken pieces of a barley loaf. Eli spread the toasted pieces with walnuts and honey, before sharing them with Hannah. The conversation turned to the baby, and what sort of things needed to be put in place before it arrived.
For Eli, it was providing for his family now that the work he had done since childhood was coming to a close. He will use the money from the sale of his business to extend and wall-in the tiny lean-to he used for harness and pack repair. Over the years on his journeys home, he often carried branches from fallen trees, seeing in them new pack frames he made when his travel commitments were not so demanding. Hannah encouraged him in this venture, having seen the masterful way he worked with his hands and fashioned things from wood and leather. She admired his courage to leave what was familiar and secure to take this risk, one that would allow him to live at home instead of the desert camps.
The things Hannah needed in place before the baby arrived were not as easily defined, and they both knew it would take several sittings like this for them to become clear. Hannah needed answers to questions she had yet to formulate, and Eli needed time to think things through before saying anything. Used to long days beside his plodding donkeys gave him that time; with his beloved sitting beside him, not so much.
One question Hannah had formulated was: “I am sure we are having a boy, so what should we do so he turns out just like you?”
“Oh no!” Eli exclaimed. “He needs to be himself through and through; to know who he is and believe that. It has taken me years to figure that out. We need to work together to make sure he knows that as he grows up”.
“And we will” Hannah responded. “It is him having a big heart that I really want. An attitude of love for everything and everyone. You love me; you love what you do; you love your team of donkeys; you love fellow travellers; you love the seasons, both summer heat and winter snows; you even love thieves and give them more than they ask for. It’s that love I want our little boy to have”
“And he will” Eli said confidently, “because he will know Yeshua and his father as well as he knows us. If I have a big heart as you say, it is because I have taken Yeshua’s words to heart and live as though they are true. He loved like that, and people who listened to him and believed he was who he said he was, loved him and soon they were living like him. Probably your father was like a lot of clever people who had fixed ideas of what the Messiah was going to do, and when Yeshua didn’t look like he was going to get the Romans off our backs and out of our country, they killed him. Missed the point they did”
Hannah was intrigued, and a little perplexed. “So what was the point of Yeshua coming – the point they missed?”
“To take away the sin of the world and make things right between us and Yahweh. I was told that just before he died on that cross, he said ‘It is finished’ meaning his work of making things right was done”.
“But sin is still all around us, people doing the wrong thing to themselves and to each other” Hannah said with more disappointment than disagreement.
“That is true Hannah, but Yeshua told us that sin is not knowing who we really are and leaving Yahweh out of our lives. Always trying to be like someone else and wanting to control everything. This is a futile way to live, that’s why I call it futility, not sin. Sin has been taken away, it is such a pity people don’t know that good news”.
Eli continued while Hannah listened intently. “Way back in the garden, our first parents didn’t realise who they were and what they had, so being offered a false identity was attractive. They couldn’t resist being as gods, but it was a liar and deceiver who was offering it, so it was something they would never be, no matter what they did. And the same thing has been with us ever since. That arguing you hear from over there is from people wanting to be right instead of happy. Wanting to win instead of all getting along. Wanting to be better than someone else instead of helping each other along the same road, from where we were yesterday to where we want to be tomorrow. It is all futile talk and behaviour”.
This speech in the cool night air took Hannah’s breath away. As the loved daughter of a Rabbi, she was no stranger to theological speeches. But words that had enough weight about them to settle in her heart instead of floating around her head were new to her. Words that were related to real people and real things, and Hannah would never again think when listening to this man: ‘what would he know’.
For this man, she had come to find out to her deep pleasure and admiration, knew a lot. Before they were married and after she had been assertive enough to ignore the village talk, she remembered visiting and sitting beside him as he repaired harness pieces. Once he talked of his parents. His mother was very devout, went to the synagogue several times a week, whereas his father had had a bad experience there and never returned. And yet they talked for hours and never argued. Eli, their only child, loved to listen in.
“From my mother, I learned to stay away from Synagogue, and from my father I learned to talk with Yahweh” Eli said. “And from Yeshua I learned who I am, and to feel strong enough to live this way in spite of people wanting to make me someone else”.
It reminded Hannah of the time Eli had made a new pack saddle out of oak timbers and leather. She had watched him place the finished pack on a donkey, tighten the straps and look at it from all angles, before undoing it and bringing it over to where she was sitting. He sat beside her and with a pouch of small tools, started to carve intricate patterns in the oak pack frame.
“Why are you doing that?” Hannah asked.
“My father always did this, so I do it too” said Eli.
“Yes, but why, it is only a pack saddle for donkeys” Hannah said.
“Hmm, you are right, it’s only a pack saddle. And this carving doesn’t help it fit better or carry more things” Eli responded, the soft leather roll of carving tools with oiled handles laid out beside him.
“And if it was only a pack saddle, it would have no carving on it. However, this is more than a pack saddle … it is something I have created so it carries part of me as well as the load. It reflects who I am and functions as a unique example of my best creative effort. My father taught me this, and he told me that it represents the essential values of Yahweh inherent in everything he creates: beauty, harmony and purpose. It’s like going with the grain”.
Hannah was in awe, but said nothing. Eli continued, “If it was just a pack saddle it would carry its load and fulfil its purpose. There would be some harmony with the animal on which it sits, but no mark of the creator; no aspect of beauty. So, no, it is not just a pack saddle, it is something created to do what it was intended to do, but also display the fact it was made by someone who knew what they were doing. That’s why these delicate lines are carved into the oak”.
The fellow travellers hadn’t quietened down, and every now and then when shouting was heard, Eli would pause and look over with that manly concern, well aware that Hannah was the only woman in the camp. Then he walked to his donkeys, caressed each one in turn, then walked to the noisy group of men. Hannah was worried, but Eli soon walked back through the smoky haze from dying fires.
“What did you say to them?” Hannah asked.
“I thanked them for their company today, and wished them a good night’s rest” he said, as though it was the most natural thing to say to noisy boisterous men.
As they lay in the tent together, arms around each other in a loving embrace, Hannah knew that the only thing that could come between them was in her tummy pressing on his. This yet-to-be child was their new future. One they were facing together with confidence, and love. For each other, for everything, and for everyone.
Merv Edmunds
November 2024
