Mothers talk. Mothers listen, and they ponder things in their heart. Sometimes for days, even weeks. For their heads and their hearts are wonderfully connected. It is part of their intuition or inner knowing; part of their role as nurturers and carers of children. A role that Eli had some understanding of, while Reuben had none. This, as we shall see, becomes apparent as they talked in Eli’s workshop one cool winter morning.
The workshop was an ideal place for talking. It had a small stove that was kept alight for heating glue-pots and water jugs, even when neither were needed. Small off-cuts of wood piled alongside were within easy reach from the two comfy old chairs. Usually Reuben sat while Eli worked on the pack-saddles he made for the men who led loaded donkeys along the main road to the city.
Eli’s apprentice, Samuel, also listened as he worked the leather for the saddles or the oak for the frames. While doing so, he was learning more than his craft. He was learning things that could ensure his recent ‘falling among thieves’ distress does not happen again. Vital things that could enable him to set a course and steer instead of drift with the wind and tide, aimless and out of control.
The aimlessness brought a burdensome grief to Sarah, his widowed mother. That’s why she had talked to Eli’s mother. She knew that Samuel needed to get some direction before it was too late, such as the influence of a stronger character and the guidance of a grounded man. A man like Eli.
“If I pay Samuel’s wage without him knowing, do you think Eli could employ him; teach him a trade, and also some of the skills for living he doesn’t have? She asked Naomi one day.
“Do you think Samuel is ready for something like that?” Naomi asked.
“Well, he came home beaten up pretty bad a week ago, and I have been dressing his wounds and talking to him” Sarah replied. “He is still in pain, but healing slowly. And thinking about where his life is headed”.
“If you think it is a good time for Samuel to make some changes, why don’t you go and ask Eli. He may say no, or he may say yes. Especially if you can pay his wage, at least until he shows some commitment to learning” said Naomi.
“That’s what I worry about. He has never shown a commitment to learning anything – it’s as if he just doesn’t think. And the only people he has taken notice of are just like him, going from one crisis to another” was Sarah’s reply, with that motherly sadness colouring every word.
It was a pity Reuben was sitting beside the stove when Sarah went to ask Eli about giving Samuel a chance at doing something useful with his life. For as usual, Eli needed to think about her request before he replied, and as usual, Reuben didn’t.
“That kid just doesn’t have it. He only lasted two weeks with the fishing men, and even less with the road crew. And those thieving low-lifers he hangs around, they should all be jailed” he said, his disgust undisguised.
Sarah held her head low, tears around her eyes, and the shame of having failed in the raising of her son on her own, all but overwhelming her. It is true, mothers talk, but words don’t come from a heart that is in so many pieces. Broken by cruel words that, while carrying some truth, had shards of contempt so sharp they cut everything they touched. She said nothing.
Until Eli spoke to Reuben, “Sarah came to speak with me, and I think it is best for you to leave us talk. And on your way home, could I ask you to reflect on the words you have spoken to Sarah. You may be right, but you may have also been careless and hurt a mother doing something you haven’t: raising a son who has lost his way”.
We may never know if Reuben did any reflecting on his way home. The only thing we can be sure about is how annoyed he was when he left, suggesting a focus on his own feelings instead of anyone else’s. Indignation and reflection rarely sit side-by-side.
A few days later Reuben came back; worked up. It was a cool winter morning and he stoked the stove so enthusiastically, the top had a circle of deep red. A bit like Reuben’s cheeks, who apart from sitting a bit too close, was animated about the talk of the village. Or the part of the village that cycled from one thing to be outraged about to another in an endless cycle of excited futility. For the outrage and indignation never resulted in anything constructive, but rather had all the necessary components for breaking things apart.
What was being broken was the emerging and settled understanding of the carpenter-turned-healing rabbi, an understanding that Eli had demonstrated perhaps better than anyone.
“The letter says that followers of Yeshua don’t have to keep the Law! I heard the man read it, and he said it was written by Saul of Tarsus who spoke with Yeshua while on his way to kill more followers”, said Reuben with authority, but without revealing his view on the matter.
“Yes”, said Eli without excitement. “A letter from one who never heard Yeshua teach, or see any of his miracles. And one who hadn’t seen him after having come back from being among the dead. He may be an authority on the law, but that doesn’t mean much to me now”.
“But that’s what he is saying! The law no longer matters to followers of Yeshua. His followers can have life after death as a free gift. It is a gift of grace, not something we get by keeping all the law. Isn’t that good news?” asked Reuben
“Of course it is,” said Eli. “As long as people are going to stay focused on what Yeshua said, and keep living in the way he asked us to. Not to earn a place in heaven, but because we can live like we are already there – live how we are meant to live” said Eli, knowing Reuben wanted some statement that better matched his revolutionary fervour.
“It looks to me like you have replaced an old law with a new one” said Reuben. “It’s as though you cannot order your lives without some law in place”.
“It looks to me like you have replaced one teacher for another” said Eli, not sure if he should have been so direct. “Before long there will be lots of letters, and as we can’t read them ourselves, we have to rely on people who can, and they, like us, are prone to all sorts of thinking of their own. At least with the things Yeshua said, people heard him say them, remembered them, and they told others who weren’t there. And he promised that the holy spirit will guide us, something that is within each person. It’s like a law on our hearts as it was always meant to be”.
Reuben saw that Samuel was listening intently, and it unsettled him. He would have preferred to not have to share Eli’s attention with an apprentice, a wild one at that. And he was even more unsettled when Eli asked him what he thought of the letter.
“I don’t know anything about letters. And I have broken nearly every law there is. All I know is that I have never listened to a conversation like this in my life. And if I know anything, it is that I have lived without listening to anyone, and I have lived as though there is no law. Until now. That’s all I can say” he said without any grasp at how profound his words were.
Eli was impressed, but preferred to comment when Reuben wasn’t listening. Reuben was impressed too, but preferred to not show it. Indignation does not give way to reflection that easily.
Mothers talk. So it wasn’t surprising that Naomi told Sarah what Eli had said about his apprentice. Being especially aware that her friend was making an enormous sacrifice to allow it all to take place.
“Eli is very pleased with Samuel. When he is shown something, he gets it straight away. He has a craftsman’s way of thinking and is skilled with his hands” Naomi said.
“What is a ‘craftsman’s way of thinking?” Sarah asked.
“It is thinking ahead, kind of like seeing the finished work and knowing what is needed to make it take shape. Eli calls it ‘vision’ and thinks it is the most important thing he can teach anyone – craftsman or not” Naomi replied.
Sarah recognised the importance of what Eli had observed in her son. It thrilled her heart and she gave Naomi a hug because although mothers talk, they also know when words are not enough.
“I am so pleased!” Sarah exclaimed. “He has never been able to think ahead, to see what his thoughtless actions will cause. And he has never been able to see what he could be. Instead, he has seen himself as just another aimless young man”.
Sarah then told Naomi what Samuel told her as she dressed his leg wound the previous night. “He told me his life is changing, and I asked him how he could tell. He said at the end of the day he is tired, but has good feelings from the work he has done”.
The two mothers were silent. Enough had been said, and each wanted to ponder the significance in their own way.
The two craftsmen were stretching damp leather over a frame, one holding it; the other nailing it in place. Reuben didn’t interrupt until the last nail was in place and the two men looked at each other with a smile. It was at that moment that Eli knew it was time to relieve the young man’s mother of her investment in his future.
“James is not happy about the letter” Reuben started. “He said it will not help things develop as Yeshua wanted. He is afraid that the twelve men entrusted with the task of making sure Yeshua’s wishes are carried out properly, will be sidelined now”.
“Is that so” responded Eli. “The only one I don’t want sidelined is Yeshua himself” he added thoughtfully. Reuben was quiet, and Samuel looked at him from his workbench. Reuben saw a young man developing skills, applying himself to purposeful action instead of destructive behaviour. A young man who went wild when his father died. Perhaps, Reuben found himself wondering, something he himself may have done in trying to cope with such tragic loss. He noticed that the wildness and lack of purpose had gone, replaced with hope and promise. With such thoughts of significance, Reuben lost interest in the letter, buttoned his coat and said goodbye to the workers.
The winter chill was in the air, but something warmed Reuben’s heart as he walked home. It was the gradual awareness of the intricacies of ordinary people’s lives. The mothers, their other-centred thoughts and actions; Eli with his patient instruction and mentoring of Samuel, and the imparting of values that will equip a troubled young man find his way; and an apprentice learning from a master by understanding his thinking and doing what he does. Before he reached his home, Reuben realised talking about the law and letters had never warmed his heart like this.
The mothers talked. About the men in their lives, and about the hesitant apology that Reuben had given Sarah. I say hesitant because when one does anything for the first time, it is usually a faltering attempt. What wasn’t faltering however, was Reuben’s expression of regretful sorrow for viewing Samuel as a failure and not potential. And the importance of considering context, like the death of Samuel’s father. But most touching of all was his apology for being so opinionated and fixed in his thinking.
After a healthy pause, Naomi said: “One of the worst influences the Hellenists have had on us is the tendency for rigid thinking. Holding ideas with tenacity instead of holding them tentatively. And, taking things literally. I fear we are losing our love of metaphor”.
Sarah saw her opportunity to contribute, “Aha, yes, metaphor. Reuben you were once like a rock in the ocean, proud and smug, unmoved by anyone. Now you can be a sailboat; sometimes anchored and sometimes floating free. You can still hold firm views, but also dance with possibilities and play with nuance. Yeshua was like a mystic; that is why we womenfolk loved him. You see, as mothers we have to be playful in our thinking if we are going to do the best for our children. Anchored on some things, and free to move with others. And, because we talk, listen and ponder, we learn what to do and when”.
In a culture where women were disallowed to speak with such directness, Reuben could have been indignant. He wasn’t. Instead, he walked home reflecting on the mothers’ talk. He saw the man he used to be; proud and smug. And now he saw what he could be. Perhaps not a mystic, but at least not a rock in the ocean.
A man seeing for the first time, who he was meant to be. All because these women had embraced the thinking of a mystic, one who stilled the waves and walked on water. They listened to what he had said, and they pondered his words until they took up residence in their hearts.
Yes, mothers talk, and their words can help grown men as well as children.
Merv Edmunds April 2024
